It's raining and i'm lost

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It is raining heavily and i'm now where to go without you. I'm lost in your shadow. Once you said you are my future and a minute you're gone. I read the sign board but i used to ignored it. Old folks ask me to be careful but i love to be blind, blind because of a cup of love that you gives to me. I am afraid that when i opened up and then i realised the love i receive wasn't real after all but i managed to make it real by myself even it's hurt because i love you. The first time you show your flaws, i was okay and never i underestimate you because i understand how deep is your love towards your former lover because three years of relationship is part of the journey had ended in the middle , still i am okay to accept the fate that your love towards me is not genuine as the love you pour towards your former lover and i am okay as usual.

    I was known that if i really care about someone, i would put my effort, time and energy just to be there but not you. My birthday is just around the corner, little did you know that the surprise that i did not expect at all come across. You just meet the girl of your choice and left me hanging without any words and reason. Still i'm waiting and waiting even though i know there is no hope for me at all but deep inside there is small light of hope hoping that you could turn back even just for a second it could make my day. My heart scattered when first i saw your bio on your social media, we both far away from each other but little did they know whether you still love me or forget me.

You promised me the world and i fell for it, but i know that i'm not stupid to believe in you too soon but i trust you will all my heart and i just get the dusk of your heart and not the rest. If i know this would be the ending, definitely i will make sure the time well spent. She is pretty, with the body proportion of your choice, thick hair and fair skin tone, while me just a normal chubby girl that is praised on the internet but not in the real life because people just to take care of my heart and not to body shamming on the internet.

Thank you for existing and become part of my life even it's just for a while. I appreciate every single second when we on the phone just to be there when you just drive home going through jam and traffic, on the phone when you just walk around your neighbourhood just to listen to my voice even just for 5 minutes. It was a short journey together when i know you, thank you for you to make me realised that love and being love wasn't easy as we expected  it to be.

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